life (slowly) returning
Once again I’ve let the weeks slip by. Somehow these strange new times have warped my sense of time. Plus, to be honest this whole project now has some new emotions attached to it…I’m feeling a bit of disassociation of sorts. Not intentionally, but perhaps in a self-protective way. Now knowing that until my business can get back up and running, I will have to put a bit of a halt on some of the future sections of the project, it once again has escaped any timeline and feels out of a known financial scope.
When I began this entire thing I’d planned to do a smaller build that wasn’t too expensive, smaller but really well designed…and taking on no debt. Then when this specific lot was found, the dream expanded and I felt like it was an “all in” type of project. So I took a deep breath and knew that it would take most of what I had saved, plus a little more. I felt ok with taking on a little debt because I knew I would keep working and would pay it down at a pretty good pace.
But now, although I truly believe that business will come back eventually…the not knowing when that “eventually” will be and yet now already being in the middle of the whole project, it understandably has made me step back a bit. Not from the dream of it, nor from the belief that it will happen, but nevertheless it has put a damper on my overt excitement for the details, my full connection to the upcoming projections, and the daily pouring over the plans and enjoying the designing.
All this to say, I think this is part of why the weeks go by as I somewhat have my head in the sand that this now is moving forward when I feel like I can’t keep up with it during this time of pause for the world.
But…on to more exciting updates…
Monday this week began “fase due” (phase 2) in Italy’s lockdown. It meant that a few more industries were allowed to open, and although things won’t likely really change for us personally until June, it does mean that construction has begun once again. As the owner, I’m allowed to go “inspect” at the site, and so we went up on Monday afternoon to see how things were going. There was a huge crane on site as well as a full team. The rest of foundations were getting set and ready to pour (since they stopped back in March after half had been completed), and it was nice to see some life again.
We wore our masks, stayed our distance, and said hello to the team. I saw a neighbor cross the road to the courtyard of another neighbor and could hear them talking through the trees. Even this made me smile so much because I haven’t been out for two months (J has been the only one going to the shops), and to at least see this many people in one view, to hear conversation, and machines, and a few cars passing - this was a small glimmer of hope of life to come.
When we were leaving I saw a sign hung on the fence of a nearby house that said “Nulla si crea. Nulla si distruge. Tutto si trasforma. Va tutto bene.”
Nothing is created. Nothing is destroyed. Everything is transformed. It will be ok.
Yes, I believe it will. Somehow, it will.