the word is out

I've been wanting to talk about this project for a while now. It's not like it was much of a secret or anything, but not too many people really knew about it, and I certainly wasn't making any big announcements up until this point. Of course my close friends and family have know about the process as it's gone along, and I even started to talk about it generally if the subject came up during this past year. But always with a caveat that "nothing is in stone yet", "I don't want to say too much since it's not quite official", etc

And at each step that was passed along the way - signing the first contract, getting each subsequent approval from the city planning committee, finalizing the building designs - even though it was one bit closer to reality, but I still couldn't bring myself to take it fully in. I kept saying that "after the next step I'll tell people" or "not until this thing happens will I feel it's official enough".

Now that the final contract has been completed, and the entire project and property has been filed in my name, I felt like it was time to say it out loud. So I finally posted about it last week online and also announced this blog, probably the way that most, if not all, of anyone reading this at this point in time, found out about it. Somehow that makes this even more real for me, letting you know. And I was overwhelmed by the support that was sent my way, from well-wishes and congratulations, to genuine excitement to follow the process, and even a few comments jokingly asking when the book or film will be released!

The saying of this news out loud was a big step for me because as exciting as this project is, how much I've looked forward to it thus far, and how day-dreamy it is for me to imagine it coming to fruition, I recognize that this is a big step. It's one of the biggest steps I've taken. It's a big deal. To be honest it makes me a bit nervous. But I think nervous in a good way. One that will motivate and push me along.

I think to believe that it was true, to even believe myself, I needed to make it public. Somehow this feels like it holds me accountable in a way. Accountable to what I’m not exactly sure. Maybe to record, to report, to take it all in. I want to make this entire process memorable, moment-savoring, and educational for my soul.

And it will be more.

more than I am bargaining for.

more life lessons

more money spent

more time used

more sunsets

more stressful moments

more happy blips

more life lived.

Thank you for being a part of it.