it's going

Not everyone knows yet about this project. This blog (although only 2 posts) is still private, and only those people I've happened to run into know about it at this point.

Although to be fair I did post a quick update on my online stories last month when I signed the first contract. But still it's not too many people.

But when those who do know ask about how things are going. I mostly reply, "it's going". As it has been now for almost a year and a half. The process mirrors life in a way - it all is always going, but at various stages, various speeds, and various points of focus.

The process.

of the spark of "wouldn't that be nice"

to "oh yes, I really think I'd like that"

to the full-on dream

to the "maybe this could be a reality"

to the questions

and questioning

to the answers (only some at a time)

to the decisions

and the pulling of the metaphorical trigger

.

and the "oh no is all this on track"

and the "am I making the right decision"

to the "it's still not too far to turn back now"

and the "I'm excited and all in".

Yes, that process has been going for about a year and a half. And like many of the things that get done here in Italy, they get done at their own pace. It's not a pace I'm used to - not from my own culture, and definitely not one in my type-a personality. But it's a pace that I'm continuing to appreciate, and one that seems like one of the reasons I'm here in this place. To learn from the slower pace. Even though it's slow, so far the slowness is what seems to be the consistent part about it.

You know that saying, something like 'the only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability'? That's kind of the irony of the 'going' on here...'the only thing going is the not-really-going-ness'.

But in that slower pace, it leaves space to breathe, to continue to do my regular work, to know nothing so far has been set in stone. To dream, to really visualize and see in my mind's eye - the space, the future feeling, the little details. And in that way, my life each day is going. And I don't want to have a life that only focuses on the future plans without giving that space to slow down and still see my life today.

So yes, the process, "it's going" and at least I'm going alongside of it, not rushing behind trying to catch up.